A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
It got better.
I am laughing so hard right now oh my god this is perfection in so many ways.
I’ve been hanging out on RedditGetsDrawn, which is really useful for finding stuff/people/pets to practice on (and to attempt working on my realism, which… you might notice is mostly missing from the above examples).
Jesus Christ. I hope these are legit because some of these are raising FABULOUS questions.
you know, my mom told me that when i was little i used to tell her recurring tidbits of a linear series of events from “when i was older”
she mentioned me pointing an old man and getting really excited and saying “hey that man was my student when i used to teach piano!” in a situation, or saying “you know i like you more than my other mom, she was so mean” and my personal favourite is the one where i said “i used to have a gilrfriend once, you know, we were on my motorcyle and i lost control and fell off a cliff on the roadside, i really hope she’s okay”
Children are scary as fuck. I need to stay away
Wasn’t there a post going around about how maybe the ‘Light at the end of the Tunnel’ that people go to when they die is the opening of the womb when we’re born? And we gradually forget our previous lives as we grow older? Because that post combined with this post scares the living crap outta me.
My mom says that before she realized she was pregnant with my brother, four year old me ran up excitedly going “Mommy I just saw God hiding over there! He said there’s a baby in you! I hope its a little sister!”
And a week later she found out she was three months pregnant.
A while later she says i sadly walked up and went “I wanted a baby sister, but its gonna be a baby brother.” And then wandered back to my toys.
My mom tells me once that when I was like 3, I don’t remember what she said I was responding to, but apparently I said
"Remember? Back when I was big and you was little."
Also, I apparently said a lot of creepy things, like knowing what my Grandpa always did in the car exactly without ever being in the car w/ him, that kind of thing.
Little kids are scary as fuck.
When my little sister was just a baby we would take her into her room to change her diaper. She would always stare into the corner of the ceiling across the room and even try to look around us while we changed her. Finally when she first started learning how to talk she was staring at the same spot and said in the most sympathetic voice, “why are you crying?” To the empty corner of the room.
Apparently I used to ask the same thing to empty corners when I was little.